When I looked up “temperance” at www.merriam-webster.com , I got a very appropriate definition. The definitions are as follows: 1 : moderation in action, thought, or feeling : RESTRAINT 2 a : habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions b : moderation in or abstinence from the use of alcoholic beverages.

Wow! That’s a pretty good way of explaining self-control! I’m sure most would agree that self-control is one of the hardest things to master, because it has to do with mastering something that can never truly be tamed: your flesh.

We are all born with a sinful nature. Since the fall of man in the garden of Eden, we have all had to battle with our flesh, as the result of separation from God. Sin is what created that separation, and in order to be able to connect with God again, the Lord had to take action.

Being that God is a perfect and just God, he could not allow lawbreakers into his perfect kingdom. Therefore, he had to have atonement for all of our massive sins. Justice demands that there be punishment, and Jesus took the punishment for all of us.

How grateful I am that Jesus took the punishment for my sins! There are so many times where I don’t have great amounts of “temperance” and cannot control the overwhelming temptations of my flesh. I would be drowning in my sins if He had not come to save me.

Even though we can’t escape the fact that we are all sinners, that doesn’t mean we have to throw up our hands and give up. We will constantly battle with our flesh, but the Holy Spirit is our ally. God has given us His power to combat our own sinful desires.

While it is just as important to surrender control to God, I believe that we are to have SELF-control for a reason. God gave us all free-will. Yes, He is in control of everything, but He willingly allows us to be able to choose whether we want what He has to give, or not. God doesn’t want to make us love Him. How fun is it when you force someone to like or love you? It’s pretty empty and meaningless that way. God would rather have us love Him because we truly mean it.

He also gives us self-control to test our obedience and dependence on Him. I must confess, I don’t always succeed at this test. I have always been stubborn and strong-willed (just ask my parents). So, it has been harder, for me, to let go. It is probably why I struggle so much in my life. I think things out way too much, and overanalyze. Sometimes, that can be good, but many times, it’s not. It would be better if I didn’t over-think so much and just trust that God will get me through it.

I battle so much with knowing what self-control is and isn’t. I know we got to take responsibility for ourselves and our choices, but I know that we also need to surrender control to God as well. Balance is the word that keeps coming up in my mind, but I have a lot of trouble understanding that as well. I keep praying that God will show me a better way, and that I will be open and listen to it.

I know that he definitely brought me to the spark website for a reason. My weight has been “out of control” for a while. I don’t want to gain any more and I don’t want to continue being disobedient and abusive to my body by continuing to overindulge in food. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me with my weight loss. I prayed that he would give me a plan and organize it for me, and then, here comes this site! I found this site one day, and I realized it was an answer to prayer!

God wants you to succeed in your goals. He wants you to lose weight and take care of the temple that he gave you. He wants you to be successful in whatever notable, worthy goal you have set. Whatever goal you have, do it in the name of the Lord!

It’s hard to think of what fruit self-control/temperance might be. The only thing that is coming to my mind is a lemon. A lemon is a fruit with a lot of benefits, but it is also a fruit that has to be used wisely. If you get too much of it, you will pucker up, because it’s so sour. However, if you use it in small wise amounts, you can get good flavor. Why else would they call it lemon zest?

Maybe that is how it is with temperance. Just like the definition says, we need to have moderation. Not just with our appetites for food and beverages, but in our lives. We need to have the discernment to know how to ultimately give control to GOD so he can HELP us control ourselves.

I have now gone through all the fruits in the basket. I have learned a lot and I will have to read them over and over again whenever I feel I am lacking good fruit in my life. I always know when God is writing things when it convicts my own heart. These haven’t been easy blogs to write, but they are essential.

Even though this series is now at a close, I will not stop writing. There will be more blogs to come about who knows what else. So, until then, I hope your basket of fruit is full and that you are indulging in something that is truly delicious! May you learn to LOVE yourself; experience the JOY of the Lord; have PEACE in your heart; be PATIENT in LONGSUFFERING; be GENTLE yourself, and others; bask in GOODNESS and live it out in your life; and have increased FAITH as you “seek to be meek” and give control to God, in an effort to gain TEMPERANCE. God bless all who read this!

So, embrace meekness with all your heart, and you will be strengthened and blessed. Be kind to yourself, and to others, and you will have beautiful experiences in your life. God bless all who read this!

Have faith in God. Trust Him. Believe that He will guide you in every way, including your weight loss journey. Even if you only have a little bit of faith in yourself, just BELIEVE that he will build on it from there. Pray that your faith will increase. Regardless of how big or small your faith is, you can do ANYTHING!! GOD IS WITH YOU!!! God bless all who read this!

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Not Another Football Movie!

By Melissa

Most girls roll their eyes at the idea of sports, and I am no exception. I’m not like my husband, or the countless other men in the world, who have to know the outcome and score of every sporting event under the sun. Sure, I do have a limited interest in sports, but they aren’t a high priority to me.

Maybe that’s why, when I see a trailer for a new football movie, it doesn’t thrill me much. I don’t get all pumped up to see another version of the same movie I’ve seen before. Maybe guys have a different perspective, but to me, they are all the same. In every sports movie, you have a team that goes from being an “underdog” to a “top dog.” They overcome whatever obstacle seems to be facing them, and end up winning “the big game,” whatever that may be.

With that being said, I braced myself for another movie rerun when I learned of a new movie entitled, “Facing the Giants.“ However, I was slightly more open minded when I read about the story line. Not only was it a clean, wholesome , PG rated movie, it also presented a side of sports that most ignore. This movie had an emphasis on more than just winning and winning until you become the champs. This movie description also talked about the victories BEYOND those on the field!

When I also learned that the people who made this movie were also makers of the movie “Flywheel,” I knew it had to be good! (I don’t know how many people, who are reading this, have seen “Flywheel,” but that is another good movie worth watching, if you haven’t already done so). So, even though I don’t normally go for sports themed movies, I decided that this one would be worth it. I was eager to see if this movie would be any different than most “glory stories.”

Quite to my surprise, and delight, I was surprisingly stunned, and blessed, by this movie. Not only was it radically different and superior to any sports movie I had ever seen, but it was so profoundly true!! EVERYONE should see this movie, because it relates to absolutely everyone!

I don’t want to give too much away, but if EVER there was an absolute must see, this is IT! Hardly anything in the entertainment world is worth seeing anymore, but this truly is a gem. I doubt the media will give it the praise it deserves, so I WILL. My kudos goes to the ones who made such a brilliant and touching film!

So, is anyone on the edge of their seat yet? You sure will be when you go see this! I’m not hyping this up either, it REALLY IS THAT GOOD!!! So, I’ll elaborate a little more on it.

The Eagles are having a rough start to the football season. The coach is frustrated and frazzled. He’s been at the school six years and hasn’t managed to do much with the team. He just can’t get a solid winning season, and behind the scenes, there is talk of firing him.

As if having his job on the line isn’t bad enough, he’s also having other problems. The coach and his wife are struggling with every possible thing breaking down in their house and their old beater of a vehicle has nearly broken down on them for good. And, to top it all off, they are having trouble starting a family.

The coach is at his wits end, and he doesn’t know what to do. So, with a lot of prayer, and some advice from an old friend, he embarks on a new game strategy that will not only transform the football team, but the attitudes and lives of everyone!

It’s almost impossible for me to elaborate on this movie without giving away all the surprises and blessings that it holds. So, let’s just say that this movie isn’t always predictable. There are many wonderful twists in the journey, which will leave you laughing, cheering, and maybe even tearing up.

God truly had his hand in the making of this movie. It is absolutely PHENOMENAL! That may sound like an exaggeration, but this is one movie you HAVE to see for yourself. I was absolutely captivated and riveted by this movie, and I’m so EAGER to see it again! The life lessons in here go “beyond football” as one character in the movie put it.

You sure can tell when God has blessed something, because this isn’t your typical Hollywood movie. I’m so thankful for that, because we need MORE movies like this. “Facing the Giants,” is genuine, exciting, compelling, and even funny, all without foul language or crude references.

This is one hundred percent positive and engaging. The discipline and determination that the coach instills in the players will spill out of the screen and into the audience as they watch the shift from “getting the glory for self” to “GIVING the glory to GOD.” This movie truly shows how God is in EVERYTHING, even FOOTBALL, and with him, all things are possible….on and off the field!!

I’m not trying to be a movie critic or push this review out there for any personal reason, or benefit. I just simply went to see a movie, and came away feeling empowered and awed. When something makes you feel that great, you want to share it with somebody, and I felt led to share it with anyone who wants to hear it.

This movie isn’t the type that blindly entertains and has no point or plot. “Facing the Giants,” has a plot and a purpose. It has substance and character and it’s truly a pleasure to enjoy.

If you REALLY want to “see what’s playing,” you got to watch the Eagles play in, “Facing the Giants.” See how this unstoppable game strategy constitutes a winning game plan! Watch the miracles and blessings unfold as the people learn how to defeat the “giants” in their lives, both on and off the field, and learn what TRUE VICTORY IS!!!

When I think about gentleness, it brings a sense of warmth and comfort to me. It sounds calm, peaceful, and good. Indeed, that is what gentleness is and what it brings when one has truly filled up on that fruit of the Spirit.

When we think of something that is gentle, we often think of something soft, delicate, and sweet; like a little bunny, or a newborn baby. At least, that is what comes to mind when I think about gentleness.

When I look up the word "gentle" in Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, I see that the first definition says: "belonging to a family of high social station." They also relate the word to "gentleman."

I know that us ladies love genuine "gentlemen." They are the type of men who truly know the meaning of the term. They are kind and well-mannered. They are nothing like the kind of so-called "gentleman" that you find at a "gentleman's club." Personally, I could never understand why they would call it that when a true gentleman wouldn't care to be seen there.

My husband, Mitch, is the very embodiment of a gentleman. He knows that any real man wouldn't go to a place like that, and that the title of "gentleman" reflects a higher standard. He has always known that being a gentleman means treating people with respect, and being kind to others. This is not to say this makes them a "softy" or somehow less "macho" or masculine. It simply means that they are a man of integrity and values.

So, how does any of this relate? Well, when you think about it, God calls us all to that higher standard. We all belong to a family; HIS family, which is of very high social class. God is Lord over all the earth!! He is the maker and creator, and there is no one above Him. Therefore, we, his children, should behave in a manner that is pleasing to Him.

We are the ladies and gentleman of Christ. We have an honor and duty to be gentle to others, as well as ourselves. Think about it? How far do you get when you are abrasive, aggressive, and harsh? Those behaviors only fuel conflict and problems. On the other hand, being gentle can have a better affect. It's hard to be mad at someone who is kind to you. If we all were gentle in our words in actions to each other, there would be a lot more peace amongst ourselves.

Likewise, we must also be gentle to ourselves. If we constantly beat ourselves up over our mistakes, we will never motivate ourselves any further. Harsh and negative self-talk isn't going to help us reach our goals. We need to be our own best friend, and encourage ourselves like we would encourage others.

If I had to pick a fruit for gentleness, it would definitely be a peach. Peaches are soft, sweet, and vulnerable, but at the very heart of it is a hard peach pit. This keeps the peach from being too "mushy." This is not to say that we have to be hard-hearted in any way, but we do need to be protective. It is always good to be gentle, but there are times where we do need to have some "tough love" or be able to put our foot down. People do take advantage of the tender hearted sometimes. So, like everything else, it is important to have balance, and know when to be gentle, and when to be bold and stand up for ourselves.

Practice the art of gentleness with yourself. Don't kick yourself when you're down. Instead, pick yourself back up and affirm yourself with positive words and thoughts. Also, seek the counsel of other gentle people to help you.

Gentleness, truly, is a sweet, sweet fruit! It may be a tender and mushy fruit, but overall, it's good to be vulnerable. Be smart with your heart, and guard it carefully. However, don't be so guarded that you miss out on the tender moments that gentleness brings. Have a soft heart!! God bless all who read this!

When I think of what fruit patience might be, I think of a watermelon. A watermelon takes some time to eat, because you are always spitting out the seeds. But, you do get a lot of enjoyment out of taking things slow, and really enjoying the fruit. That’s a lot like how patience is. Waiting isn’t always pleasant, but the rewards are. Yes, we have to spit out some seeds here and there, but the results are worth it!! GOD BLESS ALL WHO READ THIS!!!

Peace is something that we all need, and it’s provided by Christ. If you desperately need peace in your heart, and in your life, don’t hesitate to talk to me. I would be more than happy to show you how wonderful peace is! It’s something that you can’t buy or earn, but something that is freely given when you are saved by the grace of Jesus Christ! God bless all who read this!

So, what is the difference between the two? When I look up the difference between the two on www.merriam-webster.com I do see some initial similarities. Both definitions have to do with a state of “well-being.” It makes sense. Both of them do make you feel good. But, happiness is more closely defined by how you feel in the “moment.” On the contrary, “joy” is characterized by something more permanent. In the third entry of the definition, it says: “a source of cause of delight.”

That, my friends, is the difference!! Happiness is more of a feeling; something that comes and goes and has no guarantees. Think about it. Sometimes you have days where you’re “oh so happy!” Then, you have days where you’re like, “Oh, who cares!” Happiness relies heavily on emotions and circumstances. Almost anything can make you “happy” but as we all know, Just plain old “happiness” doesn’t last.

**But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV)**

I'm sure that most of us are familiar with "the fruit of the Spirit." In fact, I was commenting on a friend's spark page, on www.sparkpeople.com (see links on my myspace page www.myspace.com/missa_loves_the_lord  ), when I happened to tell her to indulge in eating the fruit of the Spirit. This prompted me to ponder more about how the fruit of the Spirit applies to all areas of our lives, including our physical health and weight loss.

So, what would happen if we started "eating" more fruits of the Spirit? What if we started indulging in these "fruits" that will fill us up and satisfy us?
I'm sure that it's no accident that love is the first fruit mentioned. In 1 Corinthians 13:13, the Bible says: "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." (KJV) In the dictionary, it shows the word "caritas" which is defined as "Christian love." (Merriam-webster.com) It also says that charity is "benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity." And, in 1 Peter 4:8, the Word says: “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” (KJV)

I’m sure we have all heard the old saying: “Charity begins at home.” It certainly rings true when we read the Bible. We are told from the previous verses that we are to live our life in love. Love is a deep concept. Love is great, and love is powerful.

Love is also a lifestyle. We are to love others, and loving ourselves is no exception. How much are you going to love all of God‘s people, if you don’t also love the “you” that He created?

Is it any wonder, then, why love should be the fruit we most indulge in? How successful do you think you will be in your life if you don’t have “caritas” in it? How will you be able to consume the other fruits of the Spirit if we don’t get our daily dose of love/charity first?

So, what is the application for weight-loss goals, or any goal for that matter? Well, my brothers and sisters, it means that we have to have self-love for ourselves. If we don’t have that mindset of love, we aren’t going to get very far. If you truly want to succeed in your weight loss goals, you got to love the “you” that you are; no matter what the scale says. After all, you are more than just pounds and inches. When you think about it, the inner you suffers maybe even more than the outer you when you beat yourself up about screwing up your meal plan, or gaining back the pounds.

My dear friends, let us learn to love ourselves! We need to be our own best-friend and number one fan! Let us encourage ourselves as much as we encourage each other! Give YOURSELF what you give to OTHERS; especially in the times you need it most. Don’t kick yourself when you are down. Pick yourself up and motivate yourself the same way you would anyone else.

Reflect on what this “fruit” means to you. What physical fruit would love be if it, indeed, were a literal fruit? I suppose it could be the fruit that comes to mind to most of us: an apple. Maybe it’s because we all hear that, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Maybe it’s because that when we think of an apple, it’s deep red, like what we perceive a heart would be. Well, whatever you imagine it to be, think about how delicious real love is. Think about it as you nourish your body with good fruits (and veggies too!). Think about how vital it is to the temple that God lives in: your body.

As I close, I realize that this blog is rather long, but it’s been a good one! And whether or not you are struggling with weight-loss, or any other kind of battle,I hope you have learned as much as I have by really meditating on God’s Word, and what it means for our lives.

I will make this blog a series. Tomorrow, I will explore “joy.” I’m sure that it will be great, and I can’t wait to see what God gives me to write! May all the glory be His!! May all that I write be a reflection of God’s heart for us. My talent is not my own, but a gift from God. Give Him the glory, and ponder these words today!! Until tomorrow………GOD BLESS ALL WHO READ THIS!!

Amazing!! It was like watching a curse being broken!! The Colts won today and Indiana couldn't be happier! Everyone is on a Super Bowl Fever High or something.

As great as that is, I sit here and ponder about it all. How many games have been played over the years? How many Super Bowls have come and gone? Who won the 10th Super Bowl, or the 20th, or 30th? Who remembers? Who cares? What's it going to matter after the hype fades?

It all goes back to what I posted earlier (please see earlier blog). Treasure. That's what it's all about. Yes, we get a temporary high of satisfaction, but in the end, what will it matter?

Just so long as no one forgets that this is STILL a game. Games are games. They are won and lost, and then, forgotten. Nothing lasts forever. Therefore, the BIG game that we should never lose sight of playing is the "game" of life.

So, kudos to the Colts and to us all as we keep things in perspective. May we all make it to the "Super Bowl" in our lives. May we all fulfill our goals and purposes. May it always be for the glory of God. Here's to true eternal treasure in heaven! TOUCHDOWN!! :)

GOD BLESS ALL WHO READ THIS!!!

**[Bear with me, I know that is one of my longer ones, but I felt I needed to post it. I just poured my heart out today, and it's likely you'll probably see a deeper side of me that maybe some of you don't know. So, if you don't want to read, I understand. But, if you REALLY want to read (and maybe even advise/encourage me) read on to the very end, PLEASE! For as Proverbs 27:17 says: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Thank you, in advance, to my true friends, and brothers and sisters in Christ, who genuinely care about me!!]**

Church was very good today. Although, I was initially disappointed that there was no pro-life sermon today; given that this week is sanctity of life week. It was hard to concentrate, at first, and sing and be happy about everything. Then, I felt like God was saying “You’re not hurting the church by being angry and not participating, you’re hurting me.” Being too angry to sing praises to a God who is ALWAYS good, REGARDLESS of what people do or don’t do, is only denying a totally praise-worthy God the glory that He’s due. I didn’t want to do that, so I did try and sing and get myself into the mindset of worship.

The sermon was good, though. It had to do with giving. It started out in Matthew 6:1-4 when it talks about how not to do your good deeds publicly for all to see, and pat you on the back for. We are to give “in secret.” Meaning, the giver isn’t sure who the receiver is, and the receiver isn’t sure who the giver is. In other words, giving anonymously is the best way. If you think about it, it makes sense. Giving for your own gains and recognition displays a rather arrogant and selfish motive. God judges the motive.

The main motives we have are out of duty, prestige, and identity. Some people give because they think they have to, or to gain recognition. But, those that give out of their identity are the ones that truly know what giving is. When you give from who you are, you are displaying your very heart and soul along with it. Those very motives are just as crucial to giving as our obedience is to give in the first place. That’s the kind of giving others appreciate, and the kind that God appreciates most as well.

In this culture, we are a treasure obsessed society. However, not all treasure is created equal. There is earthly treasure, and there is heavenly treasure. In Matthew 6:19-21, Jesus tells us not to hoard treasure here on earth, where it will eventually get stolen or pass away. Instead, we are to store up treasures in heaven, that no one else can touch. Those are the treasures worth gaining; they have eternal value.

It is also worth noting that money is a double edged sword. It can be a blessing or a curse. The bad side, of course, is that if you live only for your love of money, you will never be satisfied. You will be greedy and lustful, and you will never have enough. Money will control your life and it becomes a ruthless master over you. However, if you allow money to serve you, by using money to serve others, money can be a blessing. Like our pastor said, the antidote to greed is giving. Money sure can test your loyalty! When weighing both options, however, it definitely “pays off” MORE to give it away, than to stash it away.

We need to keep our motives in check. Money is an easy substitute for God. Jesus says in Matthew 6:24 that we can’t serve both God and money. That’s why it’s so important that we remember that money isn’t all there is, and that there is truly more to life than money; both now, and in heaven. God isn’t interested in what our money can buy, whether it be material possessions, or even power or position. What God cares about is your testimony, and the legacy you leave. Besides, God promises us that he will bless and take care of us if we seek Him FIRST.

This brings up another point. Even though we are working to store up treasures in heaven for later, we are still in a “here and now” mentality. So, there are a few rewards that we receive and enjoy “now” when we give to others. We do get the satisfaction of a job well done. Plus, we get the added bonus of more opportunities from God to give. For when we are faithful with a little, he will bless us with the opportunity to be faithful with more. Then, he will allow us to see more and more of his vision for us, and beyond.

All of this really impacted me, especially when the pastor said that if we weren’t hearing from God, or weren’t really involved in what God was doing, we should check our worship. Worship meaning how we are honoring God; beyond just “worship” singing in church.

For a long time, I have been wanting to hear from God better. But, after this sermon, I started thinking that maybe I wasn’t getting a clear vision because I haven’t really been as open as I would like to think. It became even clearer to me as I talked with a great friend, and mentor: Bruce. He has been pushing me, lately, to give more of myself for God’s glory. He knows that I have it in me, but I have been hesitant. It’s not that I don’t want to give more. The things holding me back finally became clear as I reflected on the things Bruce was telling me. He was basically telling me to stop being afraid, and to be open to God working in me. He encouraged me to strengthen my faith, and believe.

As I left church, I came home and just felt myself being broken. The tears rolled as I allowed God to really speak to me. I began to think about how I have been holding myself back with all my excuses and fears. I thought about a couple sayings that I have heard: “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called,” and “Don’t be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

I know that the Lord does not give me a spirit of fear; “but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). That is what I need to remember. Fear doesn’t come from God. Satan is the one that puts that into my head, and I need to choose not to accept that. God is greater. He has overcome the world, and Satan. I can do anything with the power of Christ!

I think my biggest problem is that I am afraid of my own personal greatness. I was talking that over with God. I was feeling as though I could never be like Billy Graham. Then I stopped and asked myself why. What is it about Billy Graham that I feel that I cannot do. You know what, I don’t know! I don’t think there is anything about what he does that I cannot do. I think I would love to tell the world about my faith and have others believe. I don’t think I would mind at all if I had to stand in front of thousands and proclaim that. In fact, when I was at church camp, the pastor said one night that he believed there was someone among us that would one day be responsible for saving thousands of souls. I remember how that struck me so profoundly, as if he were speaking to me, but I wasn't for sure. A part of me wanted it to be me, but a part of me was also afraid for some reason. But why would I feel that way? I think it is self-doubt, the fear of responsibility and of failure, and/or the fear of judgment from others.

The Bible says that teachers are judged more strictly, which is true. People jump all over your mistakes if you are in the public eye. I think that is what I get upset over, because I am so sensitive and probably couldn’t withstand constant negativity and criticisms as if people were just "waiting for me to screw up," or make up crap about me in a tabloid or something.

That is one thing that Bruce told me not to worry about, and to have more faith. God won’t give me more than I can handle and he would give me the strength to get through anything. I just need to quit thinking so large right now, and just take it one step at a time. I just need to let him lead me, little by little. If I am meant to do something at that scale, I will, but I need to be obedient first with the “little,” before I get to the “much.”

All I know is that I don’t want to be like Jonah. I don’t want to run away from my responsibility, especially because of pride or fear. When it comes down to it, I would rather be responsible to God for what I DO with my talents, than for what I DON’T do with them. I don’t want to be the wicked servant that buries his talent in the ground. I WON’T be that person! I WON’T give excuses like Moses. God doesn’t make mistakes. He NEVER chooses the wrong people. He KNOWS me better than I know myself, and if he wants me to do something, I should trust Him to do it. It’s not ME doing anything anyways, but HE who does it THROUGH ME. I am simply a vessel, and IF I am the one that is supposed to help thousands (or any number of people) get saved, who am I to tell God no? I don't want to be be responsible later for the people that could go to hell if I DON'T be responsible NOW!

One of my favorite teachers wrote in my yearbook: “you go and make great things happen.” I remember when I read that and realized that he must have seen something in me to be able to write that. He is a very strict, organized, and respected teacher, and one that knows something good when he sees it. So, to read that kind of comment really struck me. To grasp the fact that someone sees “greatness” in you is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. I have even had a man a church tell me he saw “Esther” in me (Esther, the queen, in the Bible). Sure, it makes me feel good, but it also makes me feel so small. I just feel so insignificant sometimes. But, like I said, I need to get that out of my head, because my gifts aren’t about me. My gifts are meant to be shared, and I would be cheating people out of what God wants to do if I hold back because of self-doubt and fear.

I guess my biggest fear is that I will ultimately fail myself, others, and God. However, like I read in the “Butt Prints in the Sand” book by Sam Glenn: “I would rather aim for the stars and miss than aim for a pile of doggie doo and hit.” Winners do what losers won’t. They do what it takes to make it, and I know that I will make it. Like the Ray Boltz song goes: “Heaven is counting on you….” Heaven IS counting on me, and on all of us to do our part!! The only way I would truly be letting people, and God, down is by doing NOTHING! I would rather be held responsible for trying and failing, than for failing to try. If I don’t take my responsibility now, I will TRULY be responsible later when I get to heaven. I don’t want God to look at me and say, “Why?”

You know, I think maybe the bigger reason is that I feel like a “fake” or a “hypocrite.” I feel that I am in no position to lead or teach anyone because I am just as much a sinner as anybody, which is true. We are all sinners. NO ONE is perfect. If God called only the perfect to do His work, NO ONE would be doing anything! That is something I got to remember. Even though I am just as guilty as the next person, because I am a sinner, that shouldn’t stop me from proclaiming the truth. In fact, that is the very reason TO proclaim the truth, so that others can be saved from their sins through the salvation that Jesus offers to us.

Now that I got all of that out, I believe that I am truly open and ready to what God has to say to me. I pray that He gives me an open mind, attitude, and the heart of a servant. I pray that I won’t turn up my nose and roll my eyes like a little kid would when Daddy asks them to do something. I pray that when my Father in heaven moves me to do something, that I will be like Isaiah and say, “Here I am. Send me!” Please pray for me!! GOD BLESS ALL WHO READ THIS!

As I have mentioned before, this coming week is sanctity of life week. So, I am gently reminding everyone about it so they can be aware, and be in prayer this week. Learn more about sanctity of life through these links: www.beavoice.net www.family.org www.all.org www.rockforlife.org or check out my list of links on my page.

I know some of you reading have had abortions. I can't imagine what you have gone through. I know that the pain and the feelings you deal with must be difficult. Just know that there are others out there you can talk to. You can visit any of the above listed websites for help/counsel, or especially this site right here: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/ 

I have never had an abortion, but it just pierces the heart of me like nothing else. As pro-life as I am, I try to be sensitive to others who have had an abortion, because I don't wish to come across as judgmental or condemning. Yes, abortion is wrong, but so is any other sin. Jesus will forgive you if you ask. We are all guilty of something.

Keep the pre-born in your prayers this upcoming week, and always. Let's pray for them, the mothers, the crisis-pregnancy centers, the lawmakers and politicians, the abortion clinics, and for an end to this atrocity. And, if you can stomach it, (especially if you aren't sure of your stance on abortion), go to www.photobucket.com and type in "abortion" in the search engine. The images are truly disgusting and they will make you want to vomit, but sometimes, the brutal truth is necessary in order to mobilize action. I didn't post any of these images on my page because it's just too gruesome. However, I think the whole world should see what abortion really is. Then, maybe, peoples' hearts would truly soften and understand what abortion really is, and that it needs to stop.

I know this is a sensitive subject. It's all the more reason that it needs to be talked about. I hope that I have been respectful, honest, and gentle with this subject matter. Again, I am not judging anyone. I simply want to contribute to awareness, healing, and the end of these terrible practices. Please join in the fight!! Call/write your elected representatives (you can find them on www.firstgov.gov) then, join http://www.monthlycallforlife.com/ and get involved!! Imagine if everyone did this and put the heat on the government? God calls us to defend the innocent, and the truth needs to be known! God bless all who read this!

Ok, here are some thoughts on Proverbs 17. You can read more for yourself at www.biblegateway.com.

17:1 - Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrifices with strife. - It’s better to have little and have contentment, than to have so much without peace.

17:9 - He that covererth at transgression seeketh love; but he that repeated a matter separateth very friends.

Well, yesterday was a good sermon. Sorry I didn't get to post any notes until now. Our church showed some clips from one of the mission trips a while back. Once again, the youth are going to Mexico, and they are going to have some fundraisers to help with it as well.

They were talking about missions, and they said these four things: God wants to break us. God wants to use us. God wants 100% of us. And, God wants to bless us.

God wants us to be sensitive, vulnerable, and broken. He wants us to hear the cry, and be like Isaiah and say, "Here I am, send me." It doesn't even have to be on a mission trip. It can be where ever God wants you to be.

Second, God wants to use us. He gives us all special talents so we can use them for His glory. That's where the third element comes in. He wants 100% of us. Did you know that there is something called the 80/20 principle. It basically says that 20% of peoplel do 80% of the work in the world. Which is sadly true. How many times do you see examples of that in school, or in the workplace, or even church? What would it look like if 100% of people did 100%? THAT WOULD BE WORLD CHANGING!! It would be just like the boy who gave his loaves of bread and fish to Jesus. If we gave what we have to God, he would multiply it and use it for others. Give God what you have, no matter how little, and he will take care of it.

Then, just as there was baskets full of food leftover, so will there be for us. When we give God what we have, the returns wil be great. God loves us, and will bless us when we bless others.

Here is one girl who knows all about this. God has given her incredible visions of heaven, Jesus, and more. The most amazing part is, her mother was an atheist before she started painting these visions. Keep in mind this girl is 12 years old, but the talent she has is ASTOUNDING!! She is giving her 100% to God, and the returns are AMAZING!! Click on this link to see! http://tinyurl.com/yxewot God bless all who read this!

Well, I got good news and bad news. The good news is that I am totally committed to reaching my health and weight loss goals (and have lost five pounds already, with the aid of www.sparkpeople.com - you can sign up too, for free, enter my friend id: oossabooga as the referral).

The bad news is, once I get focused on something, the "everything else" that I am not focusing on suffers. Meaning, I' more behind than normal with doing things around the house, posting blogs like this, and reading the Bible and praying.

The Lord answered my prayers before, by showing me that website and getting me organized to get healthy and fit. Now, I'm hoping and praying that he will show me how to organize the rest of my life. Balance has always been a problem for me. I do really well in one area, but then, every other area is lacking.

This frustrates me. I don't know what to do when this happens. Does anyone have any tips? How do the rest of ya'll do it? LOL Pray for me, please. Thank you.

The following blog is from my friend Ryan. I loved it and thought all of you would want to read this. Like me, he has a lot to say, LOL, but it is WORTH THE READ!!

You'll ESPECIALLY want to read if you have been longing for change in your life, but don't know how. This really gets down to the deep of the how, and it all comes to God, responsibility, and our own personal leadership. DEEP THOUGHTS. THANKS RYAN!!! :)

It has been a while since my last blog. I have been talking with God and trying to find something worthy for all my friends here. God gave me a another life lesson that I wish to share with all of you and I hope that it helps you think and come closer to God in some way. Recently I have been going through quite bit here at the Honor Academy and God has been teaching me humility and leadership lessons. I have always felt this potential inside of me. All my life since I was a little kid I felt like I could do great things. Only thing is I was selfish and I felt like I deserved rewards and attention for what I did. In reality because I thought that I never grew or strived to be the great leader that God wants me to be. I used to think that being a leader means to have a certain status that demands respect and everyone must listen to you. Well let us just say that I am thankful that God is changing my view.

I have been meditating on what a true leader is. I believe that a true good Christian leader is one who most of all serves. A leader must learn to server before he can lead other wise he has failed at the main point of being a leader. A leader must server first because when you are directing someone towards a vision you must guide and help then learn and grow so they can reach that point, and helping and guiding is called mentoring which is a form of serving. A Christian leader is constantly going towards a Godly vision and taking everyone around him to that vision. A leader with out vision of where he is going isn't leading anything any where. The only direction he is going is no where. These are things that a leader must do however there is still so much more to being a leader then just guiding and striving to God and His vision for you. To be a leader means to take on persecution and constant judgment in everything you do. You will always have someone who questions your actions or disagrees with your actions. Along with persecution and judgment you take on many responsibilities. You take on your jobs and your team's responsibilities and your teams mistakes. Don't get Discouraged when you team makes a mistake a mistake is always and chance to learn and grow. A leader is not just a title or a position it is a lifestyle.

We are Christians and everyday we are leaders. Everyday we are persecuted and judged for our actions. We are constantly watched and not everyone agrees with what we do and try to bring us down because of it. In short a leader is someone who is a servant who has influence and authority to be able to direct and guide taking on responsibilities and being held to a standard. We as Christians are judged and persecuted and are called to be servants just like Jesus Christ. To guide others around us to God and His ways and everything we do is watched. Just like a leader, if one of us messes up we can't down the team because we are the team, so don't talk bad about other Christians mistakes because we to are Christian and are talking about ourselves as well. Since we are leaders we need to strive for excellence.

To many people now days call themselves Christians but don't act like one. If they truly believe that they must pay for everything they do and don't do in eternity then they will try and change. If I told you that the building that you are sitting in is on fire and if you don't get out now you will die. Then you would try to get out as fast as you can. However if I told you that the building is on fire and you don't move then you most likely don't believe it is true and you'll just sit there in your seat. So why is it when people read the Bible they don't do what it tells them to do? They call themselves Christians yet they must not believe in God and the Bible because they don't live or act as the Bible tells them to. They don't believe the building is on fire.

I used to be the same way so what did I do? I prayed to God to please change my life and I started to pursue God with all my heart, because I did this God changed my life. I used to live a life that was a joke basically. I wanted to change my life and finally make something good of it. I wanted to follow God because I found His amazing love. I found that it doesn't matter how far you have fallen God can still use you for great things. My life, which one day I will be able to write but not right now, was beyond messed up and I did drugs, sex, alcohol, and many other things that were very wrong. Yet God is using me and still had great plans that I don't even come close to deserving. My life though did not change until I started to pursue God with all my heart believing the building was on fire and wanting to save my life and those around me. I tell you that your life will not change until you follow God and His Word with all your heart.

When I first started to change my life I went on full force with everything I had determined to change and quickly broke. I got weary and I fell back into old habits. I know that I can't change without God, but what I did wrong was I tried to tackle it all at once and change right away. So when I messed up I got depressed and gave up and went back to my old ways. Since I was determined not to quit I talked with God time and time again to try and find out why I had failed. When we want to change it will not be easy. When we choose to follow God we must pick up our cross and to pick up your cross means to die to self. In other words breaking down walls of pride and tearing out roots of sin and wrong that you are doing. We don't change the world, but God uses us to change the world. In other words it is not us who change people but it is God. It is the Holy Spirit that convicted people and causes then to change.

We need to realize to follow God is to be a form of a leader. We choose to take on the hardships and the persecution and we must count the cost, which not too many people do. Most people try to change and go into it with all their strengths but they don't count the cost. It will not be easy to try and change your life. You have been living it for quite some time now as for me it has been 20 years. I have 20 years of habit to fight and it won't change in just a month. It is going to take a lot of hard work and I must constantly keep my eyes on god and seek Him with all my heart, because that is when we change when we give it all our heart and keep our eyes on God.

One thing that God has taught me recently that has helped convict me and challenge me to change in other areas of my life when God calls me to it is this quote." I would much rather have a moment of heartbreak and a chance to learn and grow. Then a lifetime of regret and a lifestyle that is hindered because I never learned to grow." In other words I would rather step out in faith when God calls me to, rather it be speaking to some random guy about God or taking a step in life that is insecure, and get shot down and have a chance to learn and grow from that moment. Then Living my life wonder what if I did step out, and being hindered because I didn't take that chance to learn and grow. It means to ignore the fear of man and doing it regardless of what people may think or what might happen.

Also another thing that God has been putting on my heart is what will happen after I leave the ..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 />Honor Academy. Most people come here and get caught up in the moment and dance the dance and follow the rules, but because they haven't made it a lifestyle they go home and go back to their old life and this is something I fear greatly. I would hate to come here and come so close to God and have a life so amazing just to lose it all because I just sat on my butt and let myself fall back into my old habits. I realize that I need someone in my face yelling at me pushing me to stay in order. We can't do this alone and we all need someone to help push us and hold us accountable so we don't slip.

When I went home for Christmas I realized how easy a few months can slip right back to old habit. I started to get depressed and play video games none stop. I would slip back into this little world and watch myself yelling at myself to get off my butt. The constant struggle to go back to the easy route of doing nothing will most likely never go away and the only thing stopping it is you. You can cast a demon out and avoid a sin but the only thing that is stopping the devil from using it again later is you. To constantly ripe out the evil in our live and turn away from sin isn't easy. You don't just start living a new character over night. You must forge and hammer your flesh into one until finally the flesh is dead. Don't tuck it away into a corner and forget about it because it is still there living inside of you. It will not leave you alone until you pound it to the cross and die to self.

You can't expect to change the world if you haven't changed yourself. Don't get discouraged if you mess up and find yourself sitting in the side lines wondering if this wall that holds you back will ever go away. I tell you I didn't truly change until I had faith that God will make me change. Even if I find myself slipping and going back to old habits I know that if I just keep my eyes on God and continue to [ray for change that it will happen. God will not leave you in the pit while you cry out top Him. Do you remember Moses? He went and saved a race of people with God on his sides using miracles that no one on earth can do. God did that to show us that no matter how far we fall into slavery He will save us and as long as we follow Him we are no longer slaves. God has a plan for us all so don't give up when the going gets tough.

Well I still have much more to talk about, but I wish to talk more with God about it before I type it out on page. Please don't give up and keep pushing on.

Sorry I haven't been on here for a few days. I got sick on Sunday. I woke up at 2 a.m. and couldn't sleep at all for the rest of the night and into the day, because I had to get up frequently to visit the porcelain throne. LOL I was going at both ends, but I think that I'm a little better today, though. I just got to keep drinking fluids, because I think I am a little dehydrated. Pray that I get better soon.

I am so grateful, though, because it could be so much worse! I just read my friend's blog, and I was just amazed!! She just had a car wreck, and miraculously survived!!!! PLEASE READ THIS!!! Then, add her to your friends. She is an AWESOME GAL!!! http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=101044924&blogID=214800335&indicate=1

Thank you God for helping me in my goals. Isn't God good? ;) I'm thinking and feeling thin, and a mindset like that is going to help me reach my goals.

According to my profile on www.sparkpeople.com I should reach my goal weight by September. I'm getting excited just thinking about it, because I can't remember the last time I weighed 150, which is my goal weight. I have no doubt that I will do it. I know I can, and I will. This is my year! :)

So far, I have eaten within my calorie range, as well as gotten most of my nutrient intake right, according to my profile. This has been a huge resource and help to me, and I am going to use that concept to help me in my other areas too. Seeing all the numbers go up and be where they are supposed to be, can help me in other ways too. Maybe I should make a plan for doing my housework, and things like that, by setting point values to it. LOL I think it could help, to have a charted plan, with things to check off and "earn points" to make it feel like a game. I like games, and I think that is what is what clicked with me.

God is so good to me, and I am immensely grateful that he helped me find this site, so I could become more accountable. :) I pray he helps me organize the rest of my life as well. Praise the Lord! God bless all who read this!